i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I have fence marks all over my body
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
