So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
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I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
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Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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