i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
