hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
