Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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