i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
