He asked to "fluff my boner.."
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
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