youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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