also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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