grandma shit on top of the toilet
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
