I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
