Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
