i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
