Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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