I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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