: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
