So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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