I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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