i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
