4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
