# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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