I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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