I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you will always have a special place in my vag
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
