white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I could have mohawked her pubes.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
