i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize