he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
