I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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