You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
