Quick, to the slutcave!
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
