That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i just had sex bonerless
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
