Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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