what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
