your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.