he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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