I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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