they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
