At least make sure they are 18
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.