But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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