When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
