the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize