I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
