If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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