Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
