how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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