Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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