she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
