You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
