help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
