I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
