There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
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I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
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STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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