She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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