THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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