Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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