If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
