omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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