I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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