How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
