But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
