My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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