Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
