O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize