if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
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Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
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That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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