I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
